Six months later…

I just wanted to give an update on all this. I was in the middle of shooting my scene at HotHouse with Gavin Waters when I got the email from a reader informing me about Sean Cody and QueerClick revealing my legal name. A minute later Gavin got the text telling him that his ex girlfriend had outed him as a porn model. That was an interesting scene to try to finish. I’ve never been able to watch it. I can look at each moment and...

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I cast thee out: Get behind me, Satan!

“From ghosties and ghoulies and long-leggedy beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord deliver us.” We all have our demons. I am definitely not an exception. I still have a particular monster under my bed. (I would say I have a skeleton in my closet, but the door is wide open, and nearly all those have come clattering out onto the floor.) But to stretch this extended metaphor to its breaking point, I will...

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Heartwarming party

Last night I had a fantastic party at my place. Friends, family, and neighbors all came over to see my apartment, and we did some early birthday celebrating. I really felt surrounded by happiness. It wasn’t a housewarming as much as it was a heartwarming. I know some pretty fucking awesome people, and I hope you do as well. I am writing this specifically for the people (friends, family, clients, acquaintances, readers, etc.) who...

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Give it a rest, would ya?!

So, I have often said that taking breaks is important, but if you have ever looked at my itinerary you will know that I don’t do this often enough. Burn out! OMG! One reason I blog is to hold myself accountable: If I put it out publically, I feel more obliged to stand up to my ideals. LOL I am going to commit to taking a weekend off each month. It will either be the first or last weekend of each month. I have already published...

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Escorts as friends

When I was first considering the transition out of the clubs and into escorting I wanted to do a lot of research first. Although it needs a new edition to update it with current technology, Aaron Lawrence’s “Getting Rich the Hard Way” was very helpful. Some of the conversations at Daddy’s blog were also┬áinformative, but a great deal of sifting is sometimes necessary to find the gems in all the silt. But what...

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Randy and Matt, or: The cycle of guilt and cowardice

Not all that long ago I was asked what I wanted in my connections with people. Well, J.C., I have an answer for you, and before I even write this (and I’m not so worried about whether or not I keep it to 500 words today) I sense it will end up in my Favorites list. This is one of those diamonds I sometimes birth after some painful struggle and terrifying introspection. First, some background information. When I lived in Los...

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The stress of success

I have discovered a new fear (or at least a different incarnation of a familiar one): The fear of financial success. It’s odd… I find that I work very hard in various endeavors, hoping to attain some modicum of “success” in whatever it is I’m doing; however, as soon as I start to see those results, I (without realizing it, until after it has happened) back down/lose interest/get scared. Why would this be?...

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