Just because

I get a massage almost weekly without exception. I need them. Between working out, dancing, traveling, and life I have to. I don’t have health insurance, so I have to take care of myself with exercise, diet, and massage. I intend to add a bit more cardio to my life, and I am going to (at some point finally) add yoga back in as well. I really cannot recommed enough that you find a massage therapist with a healing touch. And how...

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Randy/Matt responses

I have to confess I’m a tad overwhelmed by the volume of private responses I have received concerning “Randy and Matt, or: The cycle of guilt and cowardice.” But more than that, I am particularly moved by the empathy and compassion so many of you have expressed in emails. I want to take a moment to tell all of you that this means very much to me, and I am sopping up your kindness and feeding my soul with it. I got an...

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Randy and Matt, or: The cycle of guilt and cowardice

Not all that long ago I was asked what I wanted in my connections with people. Well, J.C., I have an answer for you, and before I even write this (and I’m not so worried about whether or not I keep it to 500 words today) I sense it will end up in my Favorites list. This is one of those diamonds I sometimes birth after some painful struggle and terrifying introspection. First, some background information. When I lived in Los...

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Honesty: It fucking sucks after all, but not the way I expected

Okay, I gave it a good college try, but Matt’s just not that into me. Part 1 to this scenario is here, and part 2 is here. My career isn’t the issue. His career is the issue. He would make time to hook up with me for those first 6 weeks, but he (for two weeks now since I told him about my work) can’t make the time to talk to me with any consistency or maturity. He’s always “at work.” The day that I...

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OMG! Totally perfect day!!

Have you ever had a day that was just… perfect? I mean, everyone and everything about it was exactly as you would have wanted?? I totally had that type of day today, and it was SO appreciated… I know I can talk alot (I’m the Mouth of the South), but I’ve been trying to keep my entries to only 500 words. A brief recap? Got a great night’s sleep with my kitty cuddled under my arm all night Woke up in the...

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Honesty: It doesn’t fucking suck as much as I expected

Just a few days ago I blogged about a worry concerning telling someone about my career, and how that might completely end our friendship/budding relationship. I ate, Sunday (the day before yesterday), at the restaurant he manages. I had a glass of wine. I told him everything. And he didn’t run away. “I’m not a judgmental person,” is all he said. In fact, he’d already figured it out. I just gogged at him a...

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How he could be so mean…

Hi Devon, I just got dumped by a guy (Oliver) I was falling really deep for, and it hurts so much. He won’t even speak to me, and did not give me the chance to talk it over. After making love I don’t understand how he could be so mean. So I looked at your site and saw you had been going through it, too, this year, and I got some strength from what you blogged. Thank you, Love Bastian Dear Bastian, I am sorry to hear that...

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What do you want from your connections?

Hi, Devon. I have enjoyed your blog, because it always raises questions for me. I recall an e-mail from Sean Cody a couple of years ago, responding to my question about leaving his Mormon faith. Sometimes emotions get into conflict with one’s reasoning, and this may make it difficult to continue on course. You seem to have gone beyond that conflict – but I wonder whether there is still some feeling that your life is still...

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Honesty: It fucking sucks

I have been blogging consistently now for almost two years – next month will be my “cotton” anniversary… Somehow that seems a bit underwhelming, but what can you do? But third years are evidently celebrated with leather, so here’s hoping I get that far with this site. 😉 In all this time I have been very open about the challenges, pleasures, obstacles, advantages, and other facets of doing what I do. And I...

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Assholes don’t matter

This may at first come across as a vulgar and gratuitously sexual entry; however, if you will bear with me, I will tell you why I have chosen to write it… Yesterday I was drowning in one of my pools of emotion. I have climbed out of it much quicker than I normally do when I am mired in whatever mud my rivers churn up within me. I am not apologizing, because my emotions are part of who I am. I spoke for an hour with my friend...

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