The myth of the unobtainable straight man: An open rant to fags who fixate on breeders

It is time to look for a day job to supplement my dance income. I’m tired of depending these last six months on the whim of patrons. This week has been the single worst I’ve had in nearly a year… It’s so bad that I’ve considered some options that, for me, aren’t options. And, to top it off, there’s a long-standing issue that is coming more to the fore as the economy goes from bad to...

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Drawing the line

I went for lunch and a walk in the park today, because for the third day in a row it would be spiritually negligent to not. It is so pretty here lately – it’s hard to believe there was snow on the ground a week ago. The trees and flowers are putting out buds; the clover is bright green, with little purple pin-striped blooms; and I even saw my first massive bee of the season. The bees look so plump and lazy, the way they...

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Polyamory

Devon, Over time I’ve developed social relationships with several dancers at a certain gay nightclub, and I want these relationships to continue. This includes special recognition from the dancers when I come in. In exchange, they expect me to return the favor. However, I might not be into the same person every night. I like to rotate between several favorites. Sometimes this gets competitive as they “fight” over...

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Tears in my navel

I am certain that I’m one of the Goddess’s most aggravating children. But I also think that She rolls her eyes affectionately as She huffs about me. I’m taking the night off. I can’t work right now. I did okay last night (a very bizarre night), and my costs are covered. I’ll go to Columbia this weekend with a respectable little “bonus” to go on top of whatever I make Friday and Saturday. So,...

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Lap dances I’ve enjoyed

I’ve given thousands of lap dances, spreading joy and wonder throughout the world. HA! At any rate, there’s no way I can remember every dance I’ve done, but there are dances that stand out in my memory as amongst those I’ve enjoyed. It’s completely and utterly inaccurate to think that only unattractive men pay for lap dances. One of the perks of this job is that on a fairly regular basis I get paid to rub...

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How to give a “proper” lap dance

I have to finally broach this topic. I don’t know why I’ve been putting it off, but I finally came across enough stupid “lap dances” on Youtube and saw enough retarded straight dancers giving zombie-like “lap dances” at Swinging Richards, and I have finally had enough. Whether you are a professional or not, the whole point of giving someone a dance is to make them feel sexy, as if they are the only...

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Caveat emptor

Let the buyer beware… There are some red flags you should be aware of when you go to a club. SOB licenses (sexually oriented business) are required in many places in order for lap dances to be permissible. Depending on the state/county/city laws, getting a lap dance in a club that isn’t properly licensed can get the dancer and/or the patron arrested. Of course everyone will say they are licensed, but how do you make an...

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Would you say this to anyone else?

This past weekend I was supposed to see Janet Jackson in concert; however, she was sick, so after driving to Greensboro, NC I immediately had to turn around and drive back to Charlotte. That sucked. Really bad. We’re having a gas shortage, so I’m out the gas, I’m out the concert, and I’m out the night of work. To make it worse my new roommate’s dog attacked me when I got home, and when I decided to leave...

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Making your club dancer friendly

I have been doing bookings more and more at clubs that bring me in as a special performer, and I have been running consistently into the same challenges at all these venues that do not normally have exotic dancers. Here are some suggestions for managers/owners who do not have experience working with male entertainers: Avoid scheduling male dancers the same night as female impersonators. These two very different types of performers do...

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