Randy and Matt, or: The cycle of guilt and cowardice

Not all that long ago I was asked what I wanted in my connections with people. Well, J.C., I have an answer for you, and before I even write this (and I’m not so worried about whether or not I keep it to 500 words today) I sense it will end up in my Favorites list. This is one of those diamonds I sometimes birth after some painful struggle and terrifying introspection. First, some background information. When I lived in Los...

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Cave canem in DC: Modus operandi furris

Warning for DC boys: A time waster’s method    Fool me once, shame on you… fool me twice, shame and plague on you… fool me thrice, and I tell everyone on the internet about your bullshit… If you are a companion in Washington, D.C. there is a particular time waster you need to know about who is cruising the ads right now. He almost undermined my entire trip by filling up my schedule and then not showing up to...

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“…in the end” – Another reminder

Hi again, Devon – just read your post ‘…in the end’. What a testament to vulnerablility and strength! In fact, just from reading your thoughts in this short time that I’ve discovered them, I am struck with the idea that your vulnerability is your strength! As difficult as I think it must be, you are able to experience that one moment of float, of balanced well-being, long enough and often enough to...

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Who should NOT be a dancer?

Dear Devon, I was wondering… Is there anyone who should absolutely not dance? I mean, other than looks wise, is there something about a person that should be a red flag to not get into it? My sister is interested in dancing, but I think she lives too dangerously to be good at it. – Big Brother   Dear Big Brother, I can definitely appreciate why you would have trepidation. Aside from the fact that there are negative...

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Some of them want to abuse you

I just got back from Secrets. I’m exhausted. The last month has been road trip after road trip, and I am going to try to take this coming weekend off completely. I have so much blogging to catch up on, and I want to thank everyone who emailed me questions/topics. I fully intend to catch up with all of this in the coming days as I rest and recover. But there is something grave I need to address first. I have spoken already about...

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A prayer for death

Before I begin, I want to first acknowledge (though not necessarily apologize) for the way in which my writing goes through some definite mood swings. There are times when I have a great many situations to discuss, and I can pick more variety of tone; however, I am having one of those weeks where everything blog-worthy is heavy… I’m writing this at 5:30 a.m., which seems to be more the norm than the exception lately. I do...

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…in the end

“The universe knows what it’s doing.” “I have to trust that everything happens for a reason.” “God gives us only what we can shoulder.” “Everthing will turn out okay in the end.” There is a particular grace required to truly be content, despite any particular dissapointments life throws at us. The question of issues surrounding race has come up, and I intend to address it; however,...

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Haven’t we met before?

Here’s something that comes up with a little bit of frequency: When I’m not doing anything more productive with myself, I enjoy chatting on ManHunt. While I was still hiding in my cave in 2008, it became my primary source of socializing, since I had trepedations about being around people face-to-face. Because I don’t dance in Charlotte it hasn’t happened much, but occasionally someone in another city will check...

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Diamonds and Pearls

Yesterday was absolutely amazing… I know that I am the type of person who has to experience and explore all the minutiae in a situation, even the really, really, really unpleasant ones. I have to run my fingers mentally along every sharp edge, and I have to get cut every way possible in order to grasp whatever stone it is I’m holding at the time. And I don’t just grasp it, I squeeze it hard, holding it deep inside...

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My funny valentine

Dear Devon, I just finished reading one of your blogs and I think you may be able to give me some insight in a situation I find myself in. In the past 2 months, I met a guy. He is a massage therapist, ex dancer. He constantly is placing ads on Craigs List to get clients. I felt we had hit it off the first session. I went back to a second session and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Nothing happened sexually. Since then I have reached out to...

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