My impression of myself
Nov26

My impression of myself

This entry is going to be all over the place, because there’s a great deal going on lately that doesn’t feel connected (but I know it is somehow… I’ll improvise at the conclusion). The Michael Brown incident is currently triggering demonstrations all across the United States, now that a Grand Jury has decided not to indict Officer Wilson. Two weeks ago my friend, and former boyfriend, Shane passed away from...

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Street walkers, walking into darkness

So, the title for this entry is a reference to a song by Michael Jackson from his album Dangerous called “Why You Wanna Trip On Me?” It’s appropriate, because of a situation involving an escort whom I met last weekend in New York City. For almost a year now I have met many great people, both clients and colleagues, but I had yet to meet someone who completely falls into the stereotypical chaos that (until recently?)...

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Randy and Matt, or: The cycle of guilt and cowardice

Not all that long ago I was asked what I wanted in my connections with people. Well, J.C., I have an answer for you, and before I even write this (and I’m not so worried about whether or not I keep it to 500 words today) I sense it will end up in my Favorites list. This is one of those diamonds I sometimes birth after some painful struggle and terrifying introspection. First, some background information. When I lived in Los...

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Don’t be a vectem, betch.

“How are you?” I asked. “Fine.” “Where are you from?” “Ft. Lauderdale. There are other bystanders here for you to victimize. You can go now.” “I’m glad this will be the only time I ever have to interact with you.” Honestly, why would you go to a club that showcases dancers, and then act like we’re there to “victimize” you? I’ve had a variety of...

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Dear Harlow,

Dear Harlow, I just watched the videos that were produced for the here! network, and I wanted to take a moment to tell you that your story has not gone unheard and unfelt. I want you to know that there are people who see that “even a gay porn actor” is innocent until proven guilty. I want you to know that there are people who are not entertained by your misery. I want you to know that you are right every time you say your...

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Where is the love?

I’ve not talked too much about the competitive nature of what I do. I’ve mentioned office drama vaguely. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned it directly at all. Perhaps a few instances here and there of “if you see others doing well, and you’re not, don’t take it personally…” But I don’t recall ever mentioning what the dressing room is like… It’s definitely...

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A response: “These porn stars. Where do they all come from?”

Many of the threads on the site where I chat are ridiculous, stupid, infuriating, bitchy, mean, and generally worthless; however, they tend to generate some classic flame wars, so that makes them tolerable. I admit that my own contributions have often taken them in that direction. I’m not innocent in this. However, there is one thread running right now that is particularly interesting to me. The paraphrased title of the thread...

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