Happy Valentine’s Day: The Last of the Wine

For those of you who know me well, you know that the title I used here today is also the title of my favorite book, which was written by Mary Renault. You can see two entries I wrote about this book back in May, 2009 (“The Last of the Wine:” Sokrates, on getting and keeping a true and honourable lover, and “The Last of the Wine:” Lysis, on prayer), and upon rereading them I see how everything gets knitted together. Everything is...

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Six months later…

I just wanted to give an update on all this. I was in the middle of shooting my scene at HotHouse with Gavin Waters when I got the email from a reader informing me about Sean Cody and QueerClick revealing my legal name. A minute later Gavin got the text telling him that his ex girlfriend had outed him as a porn model. That was an interesting scene to try to finish. I’ve never been able to watch it. I can look at each moment and...

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The stress of success

I have discovered a new fear (or at least a different incarnation of a familiar one): The fear of financial success. It’s odd… I find that I work very hard in various endeavors, hoping to attain some modicum of “success” in whatever it is I’m doing; however, as soon as I start to see those results, I (without realizing it, until after it has happened) back down/lose interest/get scared. Why would this be?...

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Black dancers don’t make any money?

Perhaps this isn’t the case where you live? But I’m working throughout Georgia, North Carolina, and South Carolina. I can speak only from my own experience… I know several gorgeous dancers of color. Some are Latino, one is Asian, and the remaining are African American. Most of the Latinos do very well, and so does the Asian. I frequently hear complaints from those who are Black, or some mix thereof. I cannot speak...

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$312 electric bill

My Gramma and I were yesterday discussing the salient distinctions between exotic dancers and strippers. One of the points of differentitation for me is desparation, as I stated in one of my first blog posts on this site. If there is desparation, standards get lowered (if they weren’t very high to begin with). This conversation started after she told me about an incident in the paper about 40 years ago wherein a man and female...

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Aphids suck. Butterflies kiss.

I want to take a moment to make another distinction between entertainers and strippers. I know that dancers often have the reputation for using people. On the one hand I would say, “Yes, there are dancers who hustle a hard game.” However, it takes two to tango, so it could also be said that you get what you pay for. My point is this: Whereas a gold diggin’ strippa will pump you for all you’re worth, leave you...

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