Friends: More than the money

I drive around a great deal. And there are times when the faint business voice in my head clamors a bit louder than normal, or when my well of patience finally runs dry, and I get fed up enough to remove a club from my itinerary. And Secrets has teetered on that razor edge since the very first booking I had there a few months ago. But there are many factors to consider before going that route. First, I need the variety. I get bored...

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Trolls: The etiquette of tipping

On the way home from D.C. today I had an extended conversation with a very friendly, intelligent, handsome, and curious patron who was interested in knowing more about “the biz.” He expressed the concern that he was often shy of tipping dancers, because doing so would mean he was a “troll” (because only “trolls” tip). He thus often refrained from tipping, even when he wanted to, for fear that others...

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Dissipations, frivolity, and trivial pursuits

Youths seeking to make gentlemen of themselves should take care to avoid dissipations, wasteful expenditures of time and resources; frivolty, which leads only to a limpid spirit; and trivial pursuits, as they are the height of selfish preoccupation with matters of no consequence. – Unknown Okay, I admit it: That isn’t a “real” quote by some hardnose from the 19th century. I just made it up. But it exemplifies...

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Don’t be a vectem, betch.

“How are you?” I asked. “Fine.” “Where are you from?” “Ft. Lauderdale. There are other bystanders here for you to victimize. You can go now.” “I’m glad this will be the only time I ever have to interact with you.” Honestly, why would you go to a club that showcases dancers, and then act like we’re there to “victimize” you? I’ve had a variety of...

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Cry me a river

Hey Devon, I was wondering… What do you hate most about being a dancer? – Inquisitive   Dear Inquisitive, Every job has it’s challenges. There are parts of my work that I absolutely love: Performing, meeting new people, travelling to different places, setting my own schedule, having a real impetus to stay fit… Of course, all of those have their down sides as well, but generally those are my favorite parts of...

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Polyamory

Devon, Over time I’ve developed social relationships with several dancers at a certain gay nightclub, and I want these relationships to continue. This includes special recognition from the dancers when I come in. In exchange, they expect me to return the favor. However, I might not be into the same person every night. I like to rotate between several favorites. Sometimes this gets competitive as they “fight” over...

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My funny valentine

Dear Devon, I just finished reading one of your blogs and I think you may be able to give me some insight in a situation I find myself in. In the past 2 months, I met a guy. He is a massage therapist, ex dancer. He constantly is placing ads on Craigs List to get clients. I felt we had hit it off the first session. I went back to a second session and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Nothing happened sexually. Since then I have reached out to...

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Touch it

There are thousands of types of touch. But, for me, they break down into three overarching categories: Subtractive, Neutral, and Additive. If you are going to be an entertainer, you have to be okay with being touched. It’s simply part of the job (unless you’re in one of those bizarre U.S. states where the dancer performs in the middle of a cage/stage with an enclosement of chicken wire that stands as a barracade five feet...

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Where is the love?

I’ve not talked too much about the competitive nature of what I do. I’ve mentioned office drama vaguely. In fact, I’m not sure I’ve ever mentioned it directly at all. Perhaps a few instances here and there of “if you see others doing well, and you’re not, don’t take it personally…” But I don’t recall ever mentioning what the dressing room is like… It’s definitely...

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Chasing Adonis? Stop running!

Dear Devon, I know you don’t date, but I’d still like to hear your thoughts on something. I went out last night with a guy that I thought was gonna be awesome. He made it clear that he thought I was a prostitute, because I’m a dancer. He said, “You’re not dating material, even if you think you are.” He also said when he goes to strip clubs he doesn’t pay. He’s a landscape designer, so...

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