So long… farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye.
Apr11

So long… farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye.

I haven’t been active much for quite a long time, but I wanted to leave off with a fond farewell. I’ve never really recovered from what happened last summer, and my heart hasn’t been at all in trying to figure out the business in a post-RentBoy world. For whatever it’s worth, I hope I’ve left people and places better than I found them. That was always my goal anyway. I wish you all the best, and thank you...

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Fifty Shades of Matte Gray
Jan27

Fifty Shades of Matte Gray

Fifty Shades of Matte Gray: Gay Porn and the Straight Look by Alexander Joseph (originally published on Vestoj.com) SEAN CODY IS A fifteen-year-old porn site for gay men fascinated by what’s been called dude sex or bro sex.1 The videographers strive to convince us we’re watching two or more all-American heterosexual college-jock types go at it. Gays have always borrowed straight style tropes – tattoos, camouflage, denim – but by...

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Destroying my idols
Dec25

Destroying my idols

(Click to enlarge) I don’t know what the actual fuck is wrong with the universe, but 2016 can go right along with 2014 and 2015 and fuck themselves. I haven’t had so many crap years back to back since high school. 2017 WILL BE AMAZING: I DEMAND IT BE SO. I was out of the country when Bowie returned to the stars in his spiritual space ship. I was too utterly fucked up for months to discuss Prince walking off suddenly into...

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Charlotte Riots 2016
Sep22

Charlotte Riots 2016

We’re having race riots here in Charlotte. Frankly, I’m surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. Last year a Black man whose car had broken down on the side of the road approached police for help. His hands were in the air, he announced himself, tried to explain his situation, and was shot dead on the spot. There’s no way that’s the first or last time something like this has happened here. Black men really...

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Nostalgic Anticipation: On becoming Sporty 40
Jun29

Nostalgic Anticipation: On becoming Sporty 40

Yesterday, a very dear friend from Scotland shared this with me when I told her that in lieu of seeing Janet Jackson in concert in NYC last weekend (it was cancelled, due to her pregnancy), I had decided to quietly renew my 2012 vows to myself in a private ceremony at 7:32 this morning: “It would be highly symbolic and very meaningful to greet the dawn on the day of your birth and pledge your vows. Thousands and thousands of...

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My ongoing process
Jun06

My ongoing process

I recently took a six-month hiatus for several reasons simultaneously. The RentBoy raid completely interrupted my practice (just when flights and hotels suddenly got more expensive again). I’m the executor of my grandmother’s estate (and none of the beneficiaries cooperate). I needed time away to recenter and recover from burnout. I thought I’d found an amazing situation (but even though he hired many...

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The beginning of the end
Feb23

The beginning of the end

Many years ago now (it’s so strange to say that, but this blog is nearly 10 years old) I began a journey. 2007-2009 I went back to dancing in clubs after being in an abusive relationship wherein I was defrauded for $100k. In 2009 I did some videos, both to launch my escorting career and to learn how the scenes were produced, didn’t like how they were made, and decided I could do better content. In 2010 I did more videos to...

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Happy birthday, gramma
Sep11

Happy birthday, gramma

Today is the first time that I don’t need to call gramma to wish her a happy birthday and happy anniversary (she married grampa on her 20th birthday). It takes some getting used to.

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My return to the light
Sep07

My return to the light

I just got back last night from a week-long trip to France. I revisited a few favorite spots, but most of the trip focused on places that were new to me. I finally visited Giverny, Fourges, and Versailles (all of which have been on my bucket list for a very long time, and they’re all superlative); I revisited Montmartre and Sacré Coeur, but that same day I finally got to spend several hours at Le Musée d’Orsay; Thursday...

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Part 10 of 13: Legalities (Rentboy Raid)
Aug25

Part 10 of 13: Legalities (Rentboy Raid)

Return to “Establishing a Career in Adult Entertainment: Index” A few hours ago, Federal Agents raided the offices at Rentboy. I was trying to figure out how to talk about this entry, having just done Part 9 of 13: STDs only a few days ago. Part of what I mentioned in Part 9 of 13 is risk tolerance and risk reduction. I knew I would have to address risk again in this entry, but I didn’t realize it would be under these...

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