Swinging Richards madness

Okay, I have to admit something: I’ve been a horrible bitch lately. I have a “good” excuse… well, as good as I can come up with: Swinging Richards. It’s one of the only all-nude gay strip clubs in the country, and the guys there are intimidating to say the least. Match that with my personality conflict with the self-loathing gay manager and you get a pretty stressful situation in my head.

The last time I was there the manager called me fat (which is one of my demons), and said all sorts of disparaging comments to me about being gay (even though he has a boyfriend). Yeah. Um. Okay.

Anyway, the pressure there is high, and in order to get ready I’ve started taking these metabolizers to help me shred off the visceral fat the girdles me on my bellybutton and around to my lower back. These pills are making me crazy. I hate them. I feel anxious, watery, jittery, and angry. I get nauseated. It says they don’t have stimulants in them, but I don’t see how that’s possible. Still, I feel obliged to take them, since they cost $150 and I have the incentive of not being called fat again (if they work).

I have a lot of conflicts about Swinging Richards. For a long time most of the dancers have been straight or paysexual, trying to pass for bisexual (but most coming up short, with buysexual). I’ve talked enough about my political objections to gay men giving money to straight guys. If I’m choosing to go back, then I have to swallow all the bitter pills that come with it…

Author: Devon Hunter

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  1. this is one of many reasons i stopped working in the gay scene. people like that manager play off your self-doubts so they can mold you into who they want you to be. you should never be anything other than who and what YOU want to be.

    as for the diet pills, you don’t need them. you have a great body, and i actually think you look amazing a little beefy.i understand the need to be competitive, but its not worth it messing with your head like that.

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  2. Please don’t pay attention to the jerk who said you were fat. Comments like that say more about his own distorted perceptions and petty jealousies than about you. And please don’t take the metabolizers…they’re just a concession to his warped view of the world.

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