Swinging Richards madness
Okay, I have to admit something: I’ve been a horrible bitch lately. I have a “good” excuse… well, as good as I can come up with: Swinging Richards. It’s one of the only all-nude gay strip clubs in the country, and the guys there are intimidating to say the least. Match that with my personality conflict with the self-loathing gay manager and you get a pretty stressful situation in my head.
The last time I was there the manager called me fat (which is one of my demons), and said all sorts of disparaging comments to me about being gay (even though he has a boyfriend). Yeah. Um. Okay.
Anyway, the pressure there is high, and in order to get ready I’ve started taking these metabolizers to help me shred off the visceral fat the girdles me on my bellybutton and around to my lower back. These pills are making me crazy. I hate them. I feel anxious, watery, jittery, and angry. I get nauseated. It says they don’t have stimulants in them, but I don’t see how that’s possible. Still, I feel obliged to take them, since they cost $150 and I have the incentive of not being called fat again (if they work).
I have a lot of conflicts about Swinging Richards. For a long time most of the dancers have been straight or paysexual, trying to pass for bisexual (but most coming up short, with buysexual). I’ve talked enough about my political objections to gay men giving money to straight guys. If I’m choosing to go back, then I have to swallow all the bitter pills that come with it…