For quite a long time I have been agonizing about the possibility of returning to video work to show potential clients the muscle mass I’ve finally gained after all these years. I mean I was really stressing myself out about the possibility of it all turning into yet another big shit storm, if I were to be cast. I don’t remember how many times I have written about how unhappy shooting porn makes me, but tonight I finally made a decision: I’m continuing forward without considering it as an option. It’s not, practically speaking, any change at all. I haven’t been in scenes since 2012, and I have been very recalcitrant about even submitting applications. But now, after yet another round of being jerked off by wishy washy people who think they have some kind of power in my life, I have decided that I need to finally close this door. I never enjoyed doing porn, I absolutely loath interacting with the ranting trolls on the porn blogs, I am uncomfortable with the additional scrutiny that would be placed upon my appearance by said trolls, and the pay for video work is total shit. Not to mention how many of the models I can’t stand as people and who I might have had to work with… So why do it? Because I added all this lovely muscle to my frame, and I wanted to get it known quickly and efficiently. Look, you have to use the industry as much as it uses you. Remember that. Always.
I feel a real sense of relief. I suddenly had an opportunity to shoot, but (as always) the porn dicks couldn’t get their shit together enough to actually commit to the date or not. Look, that maybe-kinda-sorta unprofessional horse shit works for the drugged out twinks who still live with their mamas, but I have a life and a schedule. I need to make concrete plans, and the chaos behind the scenes in porn is just foolish. Honestly, I don’t know how any of these companies don’t fold under the weight of their own incompetence.
I have had the sense for some time that I am blacklisted anyway. So it doesn’t matter how much muscle I add. It doesn’t matter how healthy I am. It doesn’t matter how reliable I am. I will always be the “difficult” faggot who wrote “that blog article.” Why is this crap even still coming up four years later??? It doesn’t help that my work at my own site from 2011 – 2012 was a scathing criticism of the industry. And it doesn’t help that I am completely transparent about what I think is wrong with porn, which is everything. So, no love lost, right? They don’t want to work me, and sure as shit haven’t wanted to work with them. My escorting practice is thriving as well as it always has, so I have been looking for a solution to a problem that doesn’t exist.
Okay. Wow. Whew! I feel better. So, I guess what I will need to do going forward is stop updating my Twitter feed (I just deleted the app from my devices), focus on getting some new stills professionally done, and consider adding videos to my RentMen ad. That will have to suffice. I could add some videos to XTube, or something similar. Anything to get my image updated. I’m so sick of my 2009 – 2012 videos defining what people think I look like. So, I will get this rebranding done on my own, more slowly and on a smaller scale. That’s fine: It also means I can do it without the rabid howler monkeys around the globe throwing their festering balls of shit at me via my Twitter account. I created that account to connect with my porn following, but there’s been no new scenes to promote in forever, so why allow that direct line into my personal life? No more crazies!! Go away! GOD!
That last backlash a couple weeks ago about the surprise vagina really was the beginning of the end, in terms of my being willing to interact with large audiences of people. I was being accused of being a proponent of ex-gay conversion therapy. People were saying I was allied with the Texas Republican Caucus. Many of these fucking pricks even accused me of being the cause of bullying and gay suicide. WHATEVER! I had to take stock and consider whether or not everything was working as I’d intended. But then when I had dates to shoot new material and it fell apart, because I’m too much like the type of models this company already casts??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Especially when most of their models look and act like hungry children with cliché tattoos and dirty mops for haircuts? I think not. Bye Felicia. Bye bitch. Put your crack pipe down, and have a donut on your way out. Oh, and if you are here expecting me to approve your hateful comment, you can take your First Amendment rights and shove them up your ass. This is *my* blog, and I want only happy shit here. Understood? Good.
So, anyone looking for career advice about going into porn: Don’t.
That’s my advice.