You are made of an amalgamation of star dust, formed under the various pressures of your life, carved to perfection by those experiences. You radiate the light of your personal inspiration… if you allow your brilliance to pass through and out of yourself to the rest of the world.
That was a pretty little metaphor, wasn’t it? Different parts of us do shimmer into view at different times… Yes, you are a jewel.
Of the many facets that make up our beauty, there are seven that form an overarching picture of who we are as whole, integrated beings: The balance of physical, emotional/psychological, spiritual, intellectual, social, sexual, and financial health fosters integrated wellness. In particular, because it is often the component of ourselves that is the most fraught with conflict, it might be helpful to look at all of these through the lens of our sexual selves and how achieving balance through sexuality can lead to deep happiness.
Mitch Branson and Conner Habib are two models who have created personal satisfaction and success by way of a “wholistic” approach to sex. Both of these men work in Adult Entertainment, though they each have followed a different path toward integration. Here are two people (amongst a bourgeoning group) who have found that sex is something that can be a healthy, happy, and helpful component in the rest of their lives.
Mitch Branson is a model on and off the movie sets for adult videos. He is an escort. He is a music producer. He is a spiritual person. He is kind. His livelihood comes from his body and the sexual pleasure it can give and receive, but he takes that energy and channels it into many other parts of his life: His music is seductive. His sense of self is confident without being arrogant. His demeanor is powerful without being threatening. Sex and sexuality manifest and express themselves peacefully and quietly within him.
Conner Habib also appears in videos. He has also seen clients from time to time, but his creative expression comes through most obviously in his lectures, essays, and other writings. Conner is a philosopher and educator. He speaks eloquently and confidently, and he uses sex as a vocabulary to describe some of the best (and worst) parts of ourselves. He asks questions like, “Are you a sexual racist?” But he also creates gorgeous turns of phrase such as, “Our thoughts are the cathedrals of our minds.”
These are not “just” porn stars.
These are intensely sexual people who love pleasure, who enjoy the body, who crave connection, and who think deeply at the same time. They not only perform sex, they live it boldly, and they allow that sexual energy to fuel their other creative pursuits.
And sex is creative, whether it is procreative or not. Something that is most admirable about video models, sex workers, exotic dancers, and other types of adult entertainers is the ability these people have to focus the hot glow of desire and purposefully move that potential into other aspects of their wellness. Here are people whose physical, emotional, social, intellectual, spiritual, and financial selves thrive BECAUSE of sex and sexuality. And the truly successful ones do it without guilt, shame, fear, justification, or apology.
If any facet of a diamond is askew, dirty, obscured, or damaged, the entire matrix of light inside it is shifted, and it ceases to glitter fully. Of the various components of wellness mentioned above, sexuality is generally the part of us that is most often smeared or obstructed. All parts of us are nurtured and encouraged to blossom, but not sex?? If your desire is quashed, how can you fully experience your body? If your pleasure is erased, how can you express yourself emotionally, and what are the horrible ways in which your sexuality will be subverted and transformed? If your orgasms are tainted, how can you experience the full spectrum of inspiration?
Precious gem, you must allow all parts of yourself to dance with the light. Diamonds don’t generate their own light – they envelop, transform, and reflect an external light. What is this light? It’s love. It’s acceptance. It’s friends and family. It’s collaboration. It’s play. It’s focus and ambition. It’s all the satisfying parts of living that make this mortal toil not only bearable but wonderful. Your color, depth, and brilliance are undermined when any part of you is chipped, dirty, or dull. Polish every part of yourself, including your sexual parts. Polish those parts until they are slippery with delight and explode with happiness! Polish those parts until they sparkle as much as the rest of you. And if you already have accomplished that, show off your jewels proudly and say, “Look at these rocks! Aren’t they amazing?!”