It’s natural, I think, to want to make as much money as possible, given that cash is the life’s blood of the economy we live in. I may not like it, but money is necessary. Sometimes I get so tired of chasing after a buck, but then I realized something today: I enjoy what I get paid to do, and that isn’t something to take lightly.
Often, entertainers (especially strippers, see differentiation here) will exaggerrate how much they make. We often claim to make a ridiculous sum of money, and some very well may; however, for the most part people say they make $x, when in fact it’s probably closer to $1/2 x, or even $1/3 x. Why the inflated claims? Because we don’t want to seem unattractive – if we admit to making only $1/3 x, then that must mean we’re ugly or unsuccessful. So, you end up with lots of bogus numbers when you try to get a feel for how well the night has been going (i.e. is everyone having a “good/bad/slow/busy” shift, or is it just me?).
I had been getting frustrated, because I know what I make, and I’m pretty candid about it if another entertainer asks. When I would try to check in with people, rather than simply saying, “I’m doing alright/good/bad tonight,” they’d said, “I’m already at $ridiculous!” I finally realized how much some people lie when a young stripper I know in Charlotte claimed to have made $1,500 one weekend at Chaser’s. <stifles laughter> Mhm, you better make that money, baby… (how do you draw an eye roll emoticon?)
Anyway, this is what I realized: The fact that I make any money at all, let alone more than I need, is a real reason to celebrate and be thankful. An entertainer I know from Swinging Richards, Carlos, brought that into my mind last weekend. He said, “If I make $200, I’m happy. If I make $400, I’m happy. Being greedy or attaching the amount you make to what you yourself are worth is only going to be a reason to be upset.”
He’s right. All the affirmations I receive from what I do have a whole new value now. When someone compliments me by saying something nice, or by giving me a tip, or by giving me a private dance, I have to simply accept that all these little niceties add up to a big truth (a truth that is sometimes difficult to accept): I am attractive. I am nice. I am doing a good job.
Whether anyone who gives me affirmations reads this or not, I want to send a thought out to them and to the Universe at large: THANK YOU. I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to do something that I enjoy, and I am sincere when I say that I am finally beginning to feel content with myself. Again, thank you.