Red flags: Time Wasters & No-Shows
I haven’t written a practical blog for career advice in quite a while, so it’s time to do that. In light of two of my interactions here in San Francisco, I am reminded that I have meant to discuss this in the past: Timewasters.
In escorting, as with many other professions, time is money. And so people who waste time are particularly problematic, especially in cities where overhead is naturally high (e.g. New York City, San Francisco, Miami, etc.). Time Wasters and No-Shows can completely undermine your trip, and you won’t know it’s happened in many cases until you are either en route or already at your destination. It is very important to identify red flags, so that you can minimize this problem.
As I said in “Street walkers, walking into Darkness” in April, 2010, you must be very organized. One way to do this is to screen clients via email, not phone calls and texts. By communicating through an on-going, written conversation, you can look for the following red flags:
- Fragments: A client is more likely to flake if he does not communicate in full sentences via email.
- Extreme delays: If it takes a client more than 2 days to reply every time you exchange email he is more likely to flake.
- Sudden, urgent messages: If a client (particularly one you do not yet know) is eager to meet NOW, then he is just as likely to masturbate and flake, or to contact several escorts at once and go with the one who replies first. You should generally avoid last minutes, especially if they write in fragments. These often commit the following faux pas as well:
- Haggling: Your fee is your fee. If it is fair, then do not come down off of it, or you crack the door open on desperation, and that is a slippery slope into degrading compromises. Even if someone relents and agrees to your fee, what will you do when he shows up and has only that amount he originally offered you? If he can’t afford you, you can’t afford him. Also, he may agree, set up the appointment, and then flake because he didn’t have the money in the first place.
- Waffling: If someone needs to adjust the date and time once, that’s fairly common. Even twice doesn’t seem so bad; however, if someone keeps messing with the time, or in some way seems to question coming, he is much more likely to flake.
- Excessive communication and Psychic Vampires: The opposite problem of Fragments and Extreme Delays. There is a difference between hearing regularly from an established client (who is also a friend) and getting more updates than are needed from an unknown/new client (especially when the correspondences don’t add any new or pertinent information to the ensuing appointment). There is a fairly good chance these men will not show up, because they’ve already gotten everything from you they needed for free. If the person in question is a good, reliable client/friend, then obviously this does not apply.
- Disappearance: If the communication feels good, the appointment is scheduled and confirmed by all parties, but then the client no longer replies to messages in any form (e.g. voicemail, texts, email), he is likely to have changed his mind and simply doesn’t want to deal with canceling. This is extremely problematic, because you can’t know how to proceed. I suggest getting ready in case the appointment happens, but not to be too surprised if it doesn’t.
- ADDED 1/28/11: The young and the beautiful: Clients under 30 years old, students of any age, and self-professed hot guys are extraordinarily likely to flake. Although a few will follow through, most of these are looking to get their egos stroked by getting a discount or freebie. If you agree, you have lost money; however, if you don’t relent, you are likely to get stood up. Beware of any client who tells you in some way that you will be lucky/glad/turned on by how young or beautiful he is. I take it with a grain of salt when “hot” people try to work me for their egos’ sakes. I am lucky/glad/turned on to have respectful, reliable clients. You would be best doing what I do: Schedule the young and the beautiful only if your itinerary is already full, and you can afford it when they flake out (which is why I am more amused than angry right now).
All of this works both ways. Clients can look at the above and decide whether or not an escort is unreliable as well. In addition to this, clients will often fare better when selecting escorts who have multiple affirming reviews. If you are particularly interested in an unreviewed escort consider that he is more likely to flake under the following conditions:
- Hometown player: He’s not on the road, and doesn’t have to cover the overhead of travel.
- Youth: The young… Need we say more?
- Underpriced: There are a couple issues here. Is he willing to provide full escorting services at a price that seems too low? Why? Is he not the person in the pics (but hopes you’ll let him stay, since it’s easier than searching again – his fee is low after all)? Is he going to do add-ons unexpectedly? His base fee is the low fee, but this is $x and that is $y? Attaching a fee to a sexual activity is prostitution, and that is illegal in most places. Another consideration: If his fee is low he has less to lose by not showing up, so the incentive to keep the appointment is reduced.
- Porn Stars: Just because someone is a brilliant video model, it doesn’t guarantee he is a good companion. Look for reviews.
- Short term ads: Take your time. Watch the ads. The guys with faceless pics who advertise only a few days aren’t likely to be professional. Professionals maintain a web presence through ads, blogs, and other forms of consistent interactivity with the public. Traveling escorts will often have multiple ads, and one of them may be permanent, or the escort will make it easy to find himself in a consistent manner. Three-day hustlers often have an array of complications attached to them, and are very likely to flake.