Etiquette: Overnight appointments

Dear Devon:

I need some words from a professional.

For the first time in my life, I made an appointment with an escort. The appointment was just to meet–basically coffee in a nice setting on a Sunday afternoon. He was very smart, well-read, a good conversationalist, and seems really grounded and balanced (he talked about his family, specific references to his university and program, responded believably in how he got into escorting, and about his future plans–which do not include the adult industry). We got along well. And he’s good looking, clear eyes and healthy skin, and a trim but hard athletic body on a 6-2 frame (which is my height, too). I can’t wait.

I would like to invite him for a sleepover at my home. But I’m a planner.

Though the answer to my question probably is, “it depends,” I’m looking for a little more. As a rule, what should I expect for arrival and departure times for an overnight appointment? Obviously I want a good amount of private time, but frankly I want to be a good host, too. Despite the business aspect of his visit, I don’t want him to feel like a functionary.

Seeking Counsel,

Dear John:

As you said, “It depends.” But here are some generalities that I’ve noticed about my overnights, and perhaps they will help you with your plans:

1) Most overnight appointments last about 12 – 18 hours, and a good chunk of that is for sleeping.
2) If you meet your companion by 6 pm you could reasonably expect him to be with you until just after breakfast (but probably leaving by noon to do lunch on his own).
3) Please ask your companion about his preferences regarding food and play time (I, personally, prefer to play BEFORE dinner).
4) If your friend arrives at 6 pm, plan to spend an hour or two relaxing, playing briefly and lightly, and then getting ready to eat (but these details will depend on whether you go out or cook at home/get delivery).
5) If you begin dinner by 8 or 8:30 pm, you should try to finish around 9:30 or10 (there is a practical reason for this).
6) I, personally, need time to digest, talk, and get ready (especially after eating). Each person’s body is different, but I need 30 – 60 minutes to get prepped.
7) The timing will obviously vary, but around 11 or 11:30 pm you should begin your hour or two of concentrated intimate time.
8 ) Going to bed by 1 am is reasonable, in my opinion.
9) Sleep in! I can’t speak for everyone, but I hate getting up early (though “early” is subjective). Get up around 9 am and get ready for your breakfast. (I personally do not like morning kissing/play – the food from last night will be around, not to mention morning breath).
10) Start breakfast by 9:30 or so, finish up by 10:30, visit a bit longer, and expect your guest to need to leave around 11 am or noon.

I hope that helps. This is the general format for my overnights, though there is obviously room for adjusting this as you need to. 🙂


Author: Devon Hunter

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  1. Devon, I think you are very generous with your time and there are companions out there that 8-10 hours is there time frame. I feel the truly best answer is to communicate thoroughly with the companion before the appointment and make sure all questions are answered and agreed upon. It is also worth reading some reviews of guys that do overnights. The guy that is great for an hour or two may be a real dud for an overnight.

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    • A big issue that should be clear up front is how much private/down time the companion expects during the 8 – ? hour stay. That includes whether or not there is an expectation that he will sleep in the same bed or have separate sleeping accommodations.
      If the expectation is a shared bed for sleeping he should be aware of issues such as snoring, sleep apnea, sleep walking, etc.
      To emphasize a point Devon implied, be realistic about how much play time is expected. Both parties need to be understand or agree if the overnight is going include private socializing (dining, talking, etc.) or just be a play marathon.

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  2. flguy and juergen both mentioned something that is CRITICALLY important: discuss EVERYTHING before setting up the extended appointment, especially if you are meeting someone for the first time. you want to avoid surprises and disappointments at all costs! communicate!! be candid, honest, flexible, relaxed, and friendly and you will generally have a great experience. 🙂

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  3. So no morning hugs then 🙁

    I think just my view ok, that if one were an escort and did an overnighter, being professional is fine but you would have to be comfortable with maybe the client being a little bit affectionate. It would be rude to wake up and go **** off and storm out. But on the other hand if you were one that didn’t feel comfortable if your client got all snuggly like you were his/her love of their life, that’s understandable, but the logical brain is not active before you wake up fully. And you can’t tell me every single escort who ever worked in the history of humankind didn’t appreciate a hug and some snogging and affection from their client, with the understanding that they were client and provider?

    Personally, with respect to boundaries, if I paid for an overnighter, especially in the 1000 dollars up range, I would like a goodbye hug at a minimum. If the escort felt it was stalkerish, then perhaps it might be not the job for them. By the same token it is a business transaction, but one does pay for company and to finish off the experience with a nice goodbye – well, won’t that increase the chances of another session with them?

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    • Michael, I never implied any of what you’re extrapolating from what I wrote. Each escort and each client is different. I described what my overnights are like. I know escorts who turn it into a love marathon. That’s not my style. I can reply only about my experiences. This is why talking about ALL the details up front is essential to success and potential repeated connections.

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  4. No Devon, I am not implying that is your behaviour, it is just my view based on if I was to hire someone for the night rather than the hour. To me you may not be buying their ‘soul’ but I would want a bit more than, oh time’s up see ya and run out. I do agree totally that it should be discussed. I’m sorry if those online comments came out wrong, it is just to me paying for time means sticking to the time deal but there is no need to be ‘rude’ and just get out. If an escort is not happy if the client decides during the night to get a bit more intimate, i.e. hug and cuddle, then I would not want to buy someone who will just lie there and snore. But, as you rightly say, discuss it with the person you are hiring.

    Again sorry if that came out wrong, you know the net, things written can be taken out of context, or not showing the intent they were meant to. It was strictly my view. Thanks Devon.

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  5. Oh, oh, oh! Okay. 🙂 Sorry for the misunderstanding… Yes, you are right – discussion helps to avoid surprises and disappointments. 🙂

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  6. All good – now back to more important things in life – watching Suite 703 😉

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