Etiquette: The Kiss

So then… What makes for a good kiss (and by extension, a good kisser)? It’s an important question, because for many people kissing skills are the foundation upon which someone is deemed a good lover as well. Let me offer my suggestions and observations. I am after all, a professional. 😉

First, hygiene is of the utmost importance. All your practice and technique will be for naught if you do not have a clean mouth. Daily brushing and rinsing, along with frequent flossing, are NOT enough. Everyone knows about toothpaste, gum, rinse, and breathmints… however… there is a critical step that is so often overlooked that I feel I finally have to speak out: If you do not scrape your tongue, you are doing only half the work. My suggestion is that you do a quick brushing with water only, that you then floss, followed by brushing with toothpaste, THEN SCRAPING, and end it all with a nice rinse. (Edit: Click this link to read about tongue cleaners.)

Important note: The mouth is home to hundreds of types of bacteria. Some of them are dangerous to health; however, many of them protect you. Cleaning your mouth removes a significant portion of these microbes from your mouth for about 30 minutes. You should not go through the process of cleaning your mouth before kissing/sex, unless you can do it at least 30 minutes prior. This not only allows for the stopping of any bleeding, it also allows the good flora and mucus in your mouth to recover and help defend you from cooties. If you don’t have 30 minutes, use a sugarless breathmint.

Aside from hygiene, one must consider technique and presentation. It matters not whether you kiss dry, wet, open mouthed, closed, passionately, softly, aggressively, or deeply. It matters not if you peck, smooch, or lay it on thick. What matters most is that you constantly pay attention to the responses you are getting from your partner(s). THAT is the technique most people forget: The art of observing. Different strokes for different folk – avoid presuming that what got person A in a tizzy will work for person B. The best kissers are the ones who both lead and follow. Those who employ variety. And those who kiss to please others as much (if not more) than themselves.

I could go on, but in the interest of brevity I will focus on one third detail. Eyes. I don’t remember where I read it (probably an out-dated book on Southern manners), but I agree with it for some reason I do not understand: Do not trust someone who kisses with his eyes open. It’s fine to open and look some, but a person who kisses with the eyes constantly wide open will often be a selfish person, both in and out of bed. I don’t know why this is. It would require analysis by a professional psychologist. But I do know this: Whenever I have opened my eyes briefly and found the man glaring back at me, I have found (upon retrospect) that these are the men who have later hurt me the most. Kissers who stare give themselves away. CLOSE YOUR EYES, AND LET YOUR MIND BE YOUR SIGHT.

Author: Devon Hunter

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  1. Annoying question: what do you scrape your tongue with exactly?

    Thanks for the advice!!

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